If my mind were a blog

Your 20s are undoubtedly the most pivotal time in your life. While there are plenty of temptations and distractions, the decisions you make here are tr

Ok, so this keeps coming up on my newsfeed and I gotta talk about it…

First of all, I think the fact that it focuses solely on men is kind of lame and should either specify “men in their 20s” or go gender neutral on the tips.

Secondly the very first thing is essentially “don’t fall in love” and while I agree that it’s important to focus on self development, a big part of self development is meeting and dating other people, figuring out what you want out of a relationship and in a significant other is a crucial part of personal growth and a path to future happiness.

I don’t like how they phrased “making friends instead of earning trust” and it skews the point. It should be “trying to be popular instead of making connections”… making friends is important.

Shaming any partaking in the YOLO attitude is also problematic. Ok partying 24/7 is a bad idea, but being in your 20s is a great time to experiment, try new things and make mistakes. The key is balance which the article ignores.

I HATE the getting comfortable tip, it’s AWFUL advice. People NEED breaks to recharge, see a new perspective and think critically. When you’re in your 20s before you’re married or have children, those are some of the best years to see the world, try out different jobs, take breaks and find yourself.

Telling people to never follow trends is also awful advice. Sure, it’s great to have your own ideas and opinions, and not all trends are good to follow, but HEY sometimes your ideas fall in line with a trend, sometimes a trend can be a good thing! NEVER falling in line with a trend isn’t going to get you very far in life.

The “thinking anyone will pay you back” tip is a ridiculous tip too. Remembering that it’s important to pay back money you borrow is a VERY important thing. You won’t get very far in life if you fall into the habit of borrowing money and not paying it back because hey, you’re in your 20s and you’d rather keep the money for yourself.

Spending Money on Women who aren’t escorts…. REALLY?! REALLY! We’re going to talk about this… ok
First of all, implying that women only put out when you “shower your woman with cash and prizes” (and only give you “mediocre” sex in return) is REALLY gross and REALLY insulting (also phrasing it “your woman” is gross)
I personally have no problem with sex workers, (so long as it’s their enthusiastic choice to be in that profession) but the tip is just so SO insulting.

“Dating unstable women with mommy and daddy issues” again REALLY?! Everyone has their own issues, so first of all implying that a woman with some personal/family issues is not worth your time is awful, and implying that the only reason someone would date a girl with issues is to “white knight” her is equally awful.

There’s a couple decent tips, but the whole thing reeks of the author saying, “I’m a cis straight dudebro LOL womyns are just money grubbing hoes” and left a bad taste in my mouth

I couldn’t believe my eyes as I read the article written by Rosie DiManno about a young man who was sexually assaulted. Not only does the article manage to completely insult the young man, it patronizes anyone who understands the gravity of this situation. The article is written as though she is rolling her eyes the entire time and sounds as though she doesn’t believe men can be victims of rape and sexual assault. She manages to ignore the fact that many male survivors of rape and assault rarely come forward specifically because of ignorant and downright disgusting behaviour such as hers. She does this while simultaneously perpetuating the false idea that rape and sexual assault always have to be violent to be real.
This article even goes so far as to insinuate, perhaps he was coming on too strong at the bar, so these ladies decided to take matters into their own hands, as though he somehow deserved this assault, which is a disgusting, victim blaming attitude that is prevalent throughout the article.
She also goes on to state “enquiring minds are eager to know what the heck befell this young man,” but I ask, why is it anyone’s business? Why do you think you have a right to know in what ways this man was assaulted? Why do you have any right to his personal trauma?
The short answer is, you don’t.
Survivors of sexual assault are not here for our gossip columns or our soap operas. These are real people who have experienced something awful.
Survivors of sexual assault, no matter their gender, deserve our kindness and respect.
She later goes on to argue that unwanted touching doesn’t really warrant an assault charge. This is awful rape-culture -promoting attitude and is putting forth the idea that this should be accepted behaviour and that somehow taking action against this is an overreaction. Maybe I’m crazy, but I don’t think I should feel bad for getting some guy in actual trouble for grabbing my breasts at a bar. Nor do I think it’s right that I should go to a bar generally expecting that kind of behaviour.
In short, this article reeks of victim blaming and rape culture support. I’m absolutely horrified that this got published.

A fandom rant.

Slash has always been something about fandoms that mystified me. I never understood the act of taking a heterosexual character and pairing them sexually with one or more heterosexual or gay characters that they have a platonic relationship with.

Slash typically involves two straight male characters (Destiel, Wincest, Johnlock, Steve/Tony Spideypool, the list goes on), so that’s what I’m going to focus on here.

I have no problem with homosexual relationships. That’s not the issue here. The issue is that slash tends to pounce on two male characters with a close relationship and scream:

This causes a couple big problems.

The first is that it’s largely about sex, and the sexual desires of the fans, not the characters. Most all slash fic/art/discussion etc. is focused on the desire to see the parties involved have sex. It’s totally cool if you find two members of the same sex going at it to be appealing. Even if you identify as heterosexual. Wanting to see two characters bang is fine, we’re all human, but don’t pretend there are gay undertones to a relationship simply because you wanna write some fic or draw some art.

The second is that it reinforces and solidifies the idea that men can’t be close friends. They can’t share their feelings or thoughts, they can’t be in love with someone in a platonic way. Men are men and they aren’t supposed to have feelings they share with other men (that aren’t about women) and if they do they’re constantly and overwhelming called gay. That’s the kind of message that’s being put across. No it’s not intentional, but that is the idea it reinforces.

The best example I can give here would be Destiel. I know not everyone will agree with me on this but it is one I feel fairly strongly about. I personally, believe Dean is straight, I kind of understand why people might see him as bi, I disagree, but that’s not the issue at hand. The issue in this ship is Castiel. It has been made fairly clear that Castiel is particularly mystified by sex, and that sexual desire is not something he feels. This does not mean however that he doesn’t feel love for Dean. It’s pretty hard to die for someone (more than once) and not feel a deep bond with them. However, there is nothing wrong with this bond being non sexual and non romantic. It’s possible to feel platonic love. I absolutely have friends of the same sex that I love, but not romantically.

I just don’t understand what’s wrong with having a BROTP? What’s wrong with adoring a character’s friendship? Platonic love is just as important as romantic love and it should be respected equally.

/Rant

I don’t know if I really articulated myself well… but this is something that’s been tugging at my brain lately.

There was a picture of a model doing a typically “awkward broken-doll model-esqe pose” (however you want to describe it) and one of the top comments was

“When will models learn that awkward poses aren’t sexy?”

And that was something that really bothered me, this man was reinforcing the idea that models always have to be sexy, not interesting. They are there to pose seductively and draw the viewer in with a lustful gaze, imaginary promises of pleasure and little else. While this may be true of many modeling situations (the modeling industry is FAR from perfect) it irritated me that this man seemed to think that modeling couldn’t be about something artistic, it couldn’t be about being interesting, or about evoking emotion, or presenting any idea beyond “I’m a sexy girl and I’m here for your gaze”

Just a mini rant that’s been rumbling around in my brain for a couple days.

I work at a Portrait studio, if I’m offering something to you, the price is not negotiable, it’s the price it’s supposed to be.
Don’t waste my time trying to convince me I can throw in the extra sheets for free, it’s not an independent place where I can set my own prices willy nilly, it’s a big corporation.
If I tell you that you can buy three extra sheets for $15.99, they’re $15.99. Period. End of discussion. Don’t ask me to throw in all 3 for $5.00, and then spend 10 minutes trying to convince me to do that after I tell you “no.”
ugh people piss me off
/Rant